The Eccentre

From "Skeletal Eschatology," an essay concerning the nature of literary expression:

The narrator decides to take linguistic foibles and turn them into metaphysical blanks. The narrator doesn’t understand what the big deal is. We do this sort of thing all the time in the literary arts, says the narrator. The reader disagrees. The reader says to the narrator, I’d like something a little more solid. To this, the narrator replies, Then why don’t you go and write a tome of your own? The narrator is in a bad way. Recently, tragedy befell the narrator. The reader, on the other hand, is fine. The reader is always fine. They come to the text with nothing inside of them. They come emptied out. The reader is a divine spirit. The narrator needs therapy. The reader is a holy fool. The narrator has a lot to get off their chest. The reader is a good listener. The narrator never listens. The narrator talks and talks and talks, mostly about dear theories of narration, theories close to heart, crowding other organs, taking up vital resources, skewing the trajectory of blood, sapping oxygen of essential nutrients, and redirecting the distribution of vitamins and minerals.

From "Mental Exercises for Humans," an occult work of psychological misinformation regarding health and wellness.

The following exercises may not help you sleep but they may help you have better memories of sleep. The exercises are collected here not in the name of a new science and thus should not replace your standard human routines (we are legally required to say this). Since our lawyers insist we cannot present these exercises as having any valid and measured cognitive benefit, consider this then a historical collection, a wunderkammer of esoteric advice. 

Note: illustrations and photographs are by the author unless otherwise noted.